The end of it.

My mind is filthy, the thoughts are filthy. The mind is wounded by transgression, for every right thing I think I have is but another character flaw.

The mind is levitating towards thoughts that should be banned. Thoughts that do not promote health but rather death. But I will not be party to destruction. I refuse to let my mind fall into that rhythm. I choose life.

This is the end of it. The end of my filthy thoughts. GOD said no to this and SO do I.

Exodus 20:3

Peace be still....

She sits by the wayside, pondering her next move. Her feet crossed over the bench, her hand tucked neatly beneath her thigh as the other hand holds her sagging head in place. She reminisces over the past and silent sadness permeates her eyes.
 
Her brown eyes lost the rhythm of her dance months before. Now they lazily roam the scope of her vision, lost and hurt. Her eyes, no one could look into them anymore for she would not let them lay bare her pain. Lack lustre and forlorn, these were all too familiar characteristics of her eyes. She sighs as the atmospheric reverence of her eyes threatens to break into torrential floods. With one more sigh, she thinks to herself how exhausted she is of the el Niño in her soul.
 
She quietly hangs her head even lower, shutting out the sounds of the past and trying to filter in the silence of the present. “Put your hand here…”, she remembers the smell, she can picture the stench.
 
Her short fingers pull tightly against the bench as it were, exorcising the thought from memory. She looks up to the heavens, silently pleading for mercy. “Is there no relief?” She quietly asks, waiting for a response.    
 
Her tattered mind walks through the fame street of her memory, noting the “stars” and watching the expert act they play. The script written on earth, the pain ordained in her heart. The scars, painting the background and the shame screaming out “action”.
 
Another sigh, no relief.
 
Another intimate moment and she feels alone. She stands and walks. Meticulously shoving one foot in front of the next; forcing her disabled mind to focus on this one action, Forward. She walks along the road, watching as the cars and trucks roll by. She hears no sound, the memories are too loud.
 
She sees it. The long breadth of it. Winding its way towards her, she can’t take the noise anymore, “maybe this is the answer I have been looking for.”  I muse.
 
I’m ready to kill the noise, “If my mind won’t stop I will make it stop. I will make it stop, I will make it stop, I will make it stop” she chants, moving closer to the edge. Between the pavement and the speed, adrenaline in full surge in her system.
 
Her mind pushing her and fear drowning in the space of death and she keeps walking to the edge and as it comes closer, her foot leaves the pavement ready to walk in its path, the driver blaring his horn, her head focused her eyes shut to the screams of reality her body ready to sacrifice the mind…
 
“Peace be still.” The still small voice stronger than a mighty wind, greater than anything and it pulled her back to the pavement. She heard the voice of the GOD of heaven who cares.
 
Her eyes lit with tears, she sits on the pavement as the truck rushes by and the wind pushes her back. Another averted event.
 
LORD can you maintain me, I am terrified I will try again and this time I will not stop till the last cut is the final breathe.
 
“Peace be still…”
 
Silence…

Numbing depths.

Hear me from the depths of my despair... See my screams in the middle of my mind... In the bottomless pits LORD can you see me.

She stares into the sky, begging, pleading for an answer... She is fighting for YOU and wondering do YOU care anymore...

Her heart is breaking she has begged for forgiveness everyday but LORD is there no relief? Is there no end to the abyss that surrounds my mind.

I have read YOUR word LORD, over and over I have internalized the words that say "he who faints in the day of adversity is weak." But CHRIST, YOU promised to help me. Can you see me?

Is the abyss so dark so dreary, can no sunshine break through? Is there no hope for me. She is trying LORD, help her.

Is there no words of relief? Is there no help for the pain? Is there no balm for my wounds?

I cry and scream, my mind is in need of change. LORD help me. Forgive me, help her, see me, hear her... LORD, save me from myself...

**Abyss**

Abyss beckons my heart hither, threatening to caress my carefully constructed smile into ashes. This is not an unfamiliar place; it is possibly all too familiar, too close for comfort, too comfortingly close.

Abyss reels me in, searing my vibrant manic mind from its scenic colours observing the rainbows in life and showing my the dark rivets and lesions in my fractured mind. Showing me the unsavoury succulent seducing tears held in a numbened state of mind.

Abyss says my name eerily, yet hard as i try my effort against this darkness seems inane to its robust efforts at shutting my mind in a constant state of tumult.

Abyss is tenacious in its efforts to re-create a broken corpse.

The rapids of my descent quicken their steps. The rapids find me unprepared and seemingly unfitted with battle attire. Abyss takes advantage of this state of disarray to begin to espouse its deep seated darkness and my despair. It weaves a tapestry of my regret mirroring my shame and displaying my fear.

Abyss and oblivion, words i have etched and carved out of me; words that mar my skin with its vicious tenacity in tattoing its frame on my exterior.

My scars burn with desire, they burn with yearning as a man yearns to ravish his groin. So my scars scream their need to be satisfied...

Abyss will not rule my mind nor heart, you will not win this war. The stage is set and regardless of my ill prepared war attire, fallen drumset and dusty horn. Regardless of my failing sight and my imbued scars: this war is a war to be worn. I will not loose my mind, i will not loose the very fabric of reality and life I cling to....

Abyss your threats do me no harm; my fears will not feed your hunger, my tears will not kiss your lips, my heart will not bend and break, my will-restored to fight-will hold steadfast to what it knows, the light it knows.

Abyss, with renewed clarity my feet will not leave the ground, my mind will not succum to the pained numbness... My eyes will not dance to the music of your deathsong...

Abyss, i will fight to stay alive: this time i have cause and reason to live. Your unrighteous, unholy and unbidded lustful ways with razors and dreams, your tango with a numb interior, your sweet chastising fear, your innuendo's with pouring blood and your insatiable need for sorrow and abyss: will not rule my life.

You are not my abyss, you are a distant memory a forgotten and unwanted loss. You are lost to me...

Staring at the mirror mentally seeing the razor split open sacred and Holy flesh.... CHRIST, this is my cry for help.... Stop me before i kill her...someone anyone see this plea....

Someone see me....

Help me find my way back to the light....

Stop me before the asylum seekers find the rotting stench of pain and abyss...

Sticks and stones…

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, your words shatter my soul.


Sweet sensual lies you spill out of your luscious soft succulent lips, lies begotten from truth: woven into the matrix of my mind.

Your savoury words crotched with expert skills-man-ship; adorn each and every one of your smiles.

Speaking with fervour, unaware of the damage you caress with the words you spew tenderly and harmoniously into my memory.

So I shut my heart to your words and close my tears to this pain: words, beautiful and woven as a gossamer in the spring, words torn from the sky painted with your scarlet broken voice, words written with the blood of your lust.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, your words shatter my soul.



Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, your words shatter my soul.

With my dignity left on my backside underneath your words; my love left tucked in your blue sheets wrapped in the black smock of your oblivion.

Maybe my prying eyes and curious heart got the best of me; maybe I was too unashamed to look for reasons of your imminent escape. Tell me what it is, what cause have I had on the effect of my thriving love.

Is it my gentle caress of your future dreams, my constant need for your attention, my impatience with your inadequate responses? Tell me what has my affection has done to your love? Has it smothered all we have, have I smothered my dignity with your sheets, drowned your fears with my selfish tears. Tell me what I need to change, tell me what needs to be said: what do I need to do to renegotiate the heartbeat that was mine back into rhythm? My rhythm?

Or should I stop thinking much of what we have, shut my heart to the torment, turn my pieces on my back let you take what you need and forget how to feel? All the love I have to give falls on deaf ears; falls on a blind heart.

So I will lock my love in a bottomless pit, undefined and unfelt. I will not show emotion not today or tomorrow because it holds no respite for the pain you show. I refuse to love if it hurts, I refuse to feel warm if its effect is caustic, I refuse to let you see my soul as I have before because you see seriousness rather than me; rather than my love for you.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, your words shatter my soul.





...Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words, your words mar my soul...



LIst3n to your WaR s0ng...

Listen.




Listen to the voice inside, listen with your heart to a silence I can no longer contain.



Listen to the slow melodic tune, the ferocious drumming beat inside the vessel.



Listen to the secret story of your words in my mind.







Listen to the increase in tempo,



Listen to the slow swaying of my movement to your beat.



Listen to the thumping of your footsteps on my heart.



Listen in silence to the noise you create.







Listen to the fury of these beats,



The onomatopoeic sweet serenade of your love inside me.



Listen to the victory dance your smile ululates to in my mind.



Listen to the silent war song you whisper with your eyes…







Listen to the flowing fountain of your gentle touch healing my open wounds,



Listen to the flow of the current through me,



Listen to my prayer for you every day asking for you to be the perfect one.



Listen to the flow, the flow of your love through me.







Listen to your war song causing triumph in me.



Listen to your war song singing melodies in the words I speak.



Listen to your war song cascade through my actions.



Listen, listen to, listen to your, listen to your war song in my heart.


LORD tell me if the words I hear are words true to the promise you have instore for me...

Listen.

Listening to my heart...

Loving a memory....

Forlorn, cold, shivering. She sat on the pavement bewildered by the most perplexing thought...
"How could she have loved a memory..."
Looking to the heavens beseeching mercy's ear she prays for an answer...

Taunted, haunted, saddened. She peers inside her mind looking for the love begot....
"Why did you come into my iridescent thoughts?"
Looking far beyond the sky, with crystal tears she prays for an answer...

Shattered, broken, alone. She lifts her heart to HIS feet searching for some pain relief, a new train of thought....
"Why did you come back? Why won't my heart let you be...."
Looking to the scarred skyline of her heart, with arms stretched to touch JESUS, she sobs for mercy...

With a broken smile and beautiful memories, she stands on the grave of your love and kisses your lips to heaven. With the last of her will and strength she begs for mercy, she cries out for pity...she beseeches you not to forget her LORD... love this lowly girl....

LORD; broken on the pavement of the broken road her life is, with a faint and emotive voice she sighs out to YOU LORD...

"Let him not break me again...let me let YOU take control...let me let YOU have your way..."

"LORD, let me have a whole heart...not bits and pieces like a vagabond with no direction..."

so she sits on the pavement, loving your memory...waiting for relief from heaven...

hanging on to words she remembers etched deeply in her mind... Jeremiah 29:11...

Dear friend:

Dear Friend:

I pen my thoughts to YOU at this perplexing time of the night,

My unconscious reality refuses to grant me flight.

So with the cursor of my pent up dreams I write to YOU,

But my words have cursed my mind into a state of coup.

Seeking to start my words with sentences poignant with meaning,

All that comes up is; meaningless careening…

Thoughts that flow ceasing less

But still I cannot find the depth or meaning

In each beautiful digress

Still my thoughts are stunted.

Dear friend:

These are the vibrations of a stunted poet,

Poetically signed by an audacious author;

These are the rhythms of my mental incapacity,

The emotions of my essence:

Unfeigned truth of my stunted thoughts…

Dear friend:

I got up again,

Today I still can’t find words to put to work,

Words to emote my desires,

Release my captive imagination:

Words to serenade my silent heart,

Words to remind me of GOD’s unfailing love,

I can’t find words…

Dear friend:

Give me words…

That’s all I pray, for I realize my feeble attempts at writing my own song

Serve me greater distress than I have known…

Give me words that speak of YOUR heavenly love,

Dear JESUS:

Show me how to write,

Hide me behind every word and let YOUR glory shine,

Let my words speak YOUR beautiful love to the hearts;

The hearts of the weary, the broken, the feebly strong,

The proud and the humble:

JESUS, use my words to minister to every heart.

On my own, they are just meaningless vibrations of human expectations,

With YOUR own artistic excellence,

These words are; hope to a heart, balm to the wound,

Love to the broken, salvation to the world…

In JESUS precious name I pray, AMEN…

Dear JESUS:

Thank you for the words…

Words....*

We are making a mark!!!*

HE wants it all....*

Command...*

Streaks of her heart fall downwards past her poignant nose. Those feelings of inadequacy trace their footprints across the contours of her face. Softly and with the grace that a woman of her condition can afford, she wipes away her pain; pulls up her sleeve acroos her blackened and darkened shoulder, reaches for the hand of her child and with trepidation in her every breath, she crosses the streets to her misery... 

He was only 8 but he couldn't understand why mother was so sad, crying when he was right there with her. She was everything to him, and he was confused as to why mother was in such fear and tears yet she always smiled. He knew that he was too young to understand why mummy and daddy fought for hours each night and why daddy walked funny every night when he came home but still, he was here. She should be smiling! He prayed in his heart that GOD would give his mother her smile back soon...

Hurrying to catch the bus, she held her son's hand even tighter... As she struggled to see past the tears blurring her brown eyes, she never even heard the sound of the truck as it speed upto her.

Five miserable years, she lost her son on that road....."GOD why did you take away my joy? why did you break my heart, even when i have loved YOU with all i have. since then i have not concieved another child. Why did you break my heart LORD, why?" Then she sat and listened, picking up her old torn bible, and flipping the page, her answer stuck out so vividly.....

"Thou shall not have any other gods before ME..." 

Exodus 20;3-19

"Be still and wait patiently for the LORD to act...."

Prodigal daughter...*

 Authentic perfection...authentic perception, thats what they do....

Spinning tasteful lies through the innocent ears of a post mortem teen, 

only an "adultic" teen thats what she was. 

She left home chasing "greener grass," looking for "quiet waters," searching for "pastures..." 

so she set her trail ablaze, burned the memories of the past quiet life, the peaceful, Oh how peaceful it was...

She got up on her feet, letting the rain wash her clear of her past achievements and stepped throught to the horizon of mistakes...Mistakes that a prodigal child must make, a rite of passage or so she thought...

blue dress, pretty bows, taunt belt, skinny jeans designer bag, expensive shades...well that was the the new look, a metarmorphosis of persona, a person of sheer insecurity...

She saw no-one but herself, "Pride goes before destruction a haughty spirit before a fall..." thats the girl who she became...proud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, selfish, broken, hurt, insecure, tortured, unconcerned, depressed and tired...

She looks to the mirror and all she sees are the remnants of a beautiful girl...

her mind flashes to the instant it all began...

"Let's go dammit! What are you waiting for?" he called out. 

that was the man she had purposed to love, the man who was gonna show her the way to live, the high life the life where all she had to do was party, and drink all night...

she did all the things mother warned her about, she tried all the things her father told her not to...she left the GOD she had known for a life of misery...."bad company ruins good morals..."

So here she is looking into the memory bank of her mind trying to find a solid plan of life from this point forward...trying to go at it by herself...trying to live by a standard that was socially and morally acceptable in a place of no morals....How does a faithful untainted daughter of GOD decide to live by the standards set by a worldy place....?

Looking into her own eyes she was sad...saddened by the state of emergency she was...bruised soul, broken heart, tortured mind....she was a sinner, and right at that point she felt truly like a sinful sinner...

but when GOD says "never will I live you nor forsake you", HE means every letter.

In her broken mind she couldn't see past the broken tears, always a broken corpse...

GOD is close to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit...

Help was on the way long before trouble began, help was on the way long before sin had taken her down...

See GOD gives sight to the blind even before they ask for it, "ask and it shall be given to you...." but you must first understand that "seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and HIS righteousness and EVERYTHING ELSE will be added to you" that is a definite, "amazing grace how sweet the sound..."

and so when the pre-"adultic" teen felt lost and dead, GOD restored the breathe of life that had dimed in her...giving her reason to smile and praise..." for when the daughter was still a long way of, the father ran and embraced her..."

GOD gave me a hug when i needed it the most...Authentic Love, authentic peace...

A hug when I needed one...:)

We are making a mark!!!*

...Foolish..*

Thank YOU, LORD for another day,

Another breathe i don't deserve but YOU have given freely dear JESUS...

Thank YOU for another moment to be well and have friends, and the understanding YOU have bestowed upon me...

THANK YOU...

LORD, we are foolish.

I am foolish...

We are silly and stupid.

I am silly and stupid...

We are forgetful and un-appreciative,

I am forgetful and un-appreciative...

Inconsiderate and unkind, unfair and uncouth, 

un concerned and insensitive.

FATHER forgive me for i have not been deaf to listen to your healing words.

but LORD, i know you have decreed Jeremiah 29:11, for YOU have called me by name, said that YOU are my friend. JESUS i know that YOU love me with every bit because Psalms 103:12 wrote it...

LORD, with every step i take YOU heard my cry, YOU wiped my tears even when i felt beat....still YOUR loving word says that 1st Corinthians 10:13... 

I know that for one, GOD will never stop showing me 1st Corinthians 13 love.. HE will hold me close to HIS heart for i am Genesis 1:27

so LORD i ask of YOU, to forgive our selfish, idolatry, adultrous self. Forgive my insensitive and unfair behaviour, my noisy self when i cant be silent.. LORD heal your people, teach them and me YOUR love. 

Psalms 23...Heal me beside YOUR quiet pastures, walk with me LORD as i walk through this valley of shadow of death...because i know JESUS, YOU will teach how to trust YOU...

LORD i ask that you forgive us...

JESUS i know i am on the right track...LORD i will not stop because YOU never stopped with me.

I'm not perfect LORD, but i know YOU will use me.. I don't always stop to listen but GOD im praying YOU will teach me how. I know i haven't been giving YOU my all and am so sorry, so JESUS teach me to give my all to YOU.

Philipians 4:6,7 GOD i know YOU will give me and have continually blessed me with that peace...

GOD i pray YOU teach me dilligence, determination, discipline and love being the greatest. 

AND FATHER, FRIEND, i know and trust that YOU are coming back to take me home...

IN JESUS NAME I PRAY, 

AMEN...

Psalms 23...*

HE is making a mark... <3

"Who am I?"

 Three simply complex words, "who am I?" but a phrase we can barely answer...

Philosophers, Scholars, literature buffs all have meanings and definitions for this phrase, scientist too. But the one person who struggles to find the meaning of this phrase is us...

 "Who am i?"

There's a teenager sitting in her room, painting the white walls with her eyes. She inspires the bland walls with her imagination of what she thinks Monalisa should have looked like. She draws better figures than Picasso's failed art. She has sat there for hours trying to figure out who she is, i mean the literature assignment isn't going to complete itself! But she can't seem to find any description of herself. At 16 you would think she would have figured out atleast abit about herself but all she can come up with is, her name.

"Who am i?"

Seems simple enough for anyone to answer, i mean its just 3 words what else could it be...

 At 35years of age, a succesful career and a wife and kids, a man decides to go for a sex change. He decides to leave his wife of 18years and marry a 21year old girl. And people wonder what is wrong with such men? 

Its simple really, they still don't know who they are....

Here I am, am still trying to figure out a full definition of who i am, but so far this is what i have come to learn:

I am not just my name...

I am not just my country, Kenya...

I am not just my tribe, Kisii...

I am not my friends or a figmented me...

I am NOT a doormat...

I am not forgotten...

but this is what I am;

I am GOD's child...

I am a friend to JESUS...

I am Loved...

I am a forgiven sinner...

I am a seventh-day adventist CHRISTIAN....

I am found...

I am peaceful...

I am a workaholic...

I am not a broken corpse...

I am FREE...

I am HAPPY...

I am cherished...

I am respected...

I am trustworthy...

I am nothing without GOD...

"I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me"

"I trust in GOD in all my ways and acknowledge HIM, and JESUS directs my paths..."

I am fun...

I am poised...

I am DEFINETLY BEAUTIFUL....

I am striving to be a great friend like JESUS is to me....

I am faulty...

I am under construction...

I am analytical...

I am quiet...

I am learning...

I am 5:14. “‘You are the light of the
world. A city on a hill cannot be
hidden. Neither do people light
a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand,
and it gives light to everyone in
the house. In the same way, let
your light shine before men, that
they may see your good deeds and
praise your Father in heaven.’” 

“Let them
see your good deeds and praise
your Father in heaven!”

 I am on a mission, to spread the gospel for CHRIST's soon return....

"who am I?" I am still finding out slowly but i thank GOD i have a starting point...

See, when I say i am loved, im not alone...I know many out there need to know they are loved, but I realize my deficiency, i am just human and i can't love the way GOD can love... JESUS loved so much it killed HIM, imagine what HE did and is still doing for you and me...

When we begin to answer the question "who am I?", lets all turn and ask GOD, "who do you want me to be?..."

I am DEFINETLY NOT MY PAST...*

We are making a mark!!!*

Thank you...*

Pass me not O gentle SAVIOUR hear my humble cry....while on others thou art calling, do not pass me....by

And so this week HE has not left me....GOD is with me.... in more ways than i can say...JESUS is with me...every second even in my twisted mind...JESUS is with me..

JESUS thank you... :)

Thank you.... :)

We are making a mark!!!*

Hymn 86:

"O LORD my GOD when i in awesome wonder,
Consider all THY works THY hands have made,
i see the stars, i hear the mighty thunder,
THY power throughout the universe display.

Then sings my soul my Saviour GOD to THEE, how great THOU art,
HOW GREAT THOU ART...
Then sings my soul my Saviour GOD to THEE, how great THOU art, HOW GREAT THOU art..."

These word are the melody of my heart...LORD teach me to sing these words to THY honor....

See when GOD decides to lead us, HE won't let go..."HE who began a good work in me will not rest untill it is finished"

GOD has made sure we know that HE won't let us go... "Never will I leave you nor forsake you..."

And that is a promise i have seen in the past week...so ill shout from the rooftops, scream to the world....MY GOD is GREAT....

PRAISE HIM, PRAISE GOD....

We are making a mark!!!*

trUst...*

JESUS i trust in YOUR promise of Jeremiah 29:11....

Jeremiah 29:11

We are making a mark!!!*

Rescue...*

JESUS come to my rescue...

LORD, give me words as David...

Let me speak just as Psalms 45:1 says...

Let me see YOUR grace through the marvelous works of YOUR gracious nail punctured hands...Let me understand the love YOU promised me, and know that the words YOU speak are true...

let my heart be tuned to Philippians 4:8 and in my mind speak YOUR peace into, LORD hear my cry, just as David begged for forgiveness and guidance, I pray for the same. Just as Ruth trusted in YOU the Bible that she had "a heart so hidden in YOU, JESUS, may my heart be so hidden in YOU that a man should seek YOU first to find me..."

LORD for i am weak but YOU provided that..."my weakness be made perfect in YOUR unfailing love"
2 Corinthians 12:9....

LORD my prayer is that YOU may be seen through me...everything i do...i live by Galatians 5:22-23, changed because you carried out Ezekiel 11:19, Zechariah 4:6....

LORD, Psalms 40:8 speaks my hearts desires... and i pray that LORD these words may edify another...as it does me,

for YOU said, Psalms 34:9 rings true and we can shout and proclaim to the world Psalms 23:1..."THE SOVEREIGN LORD IS MY SHEPHERD, I SHALL NOT WANT..."

Rescue me LORD...*

We are making a mark!!!*

Silently staring...*

Silently staring at the stars...
Praying for a peace of mind...
Asking GOD to give me Philippians 4:6,7 peace...


Sweetly i feel the gentle breeze...
A distant sound, a patient whisper...
LORD your voice is crystal clear...
Perfect harmony with perfect love...


A rose...
I am a rose; untainted, unblemished, thorny, imperfect...
a rose with so many stories, so many marks of life...
a rose that weathered storms...
no i am not ordinary, i refuse to be...
i am extraordinary, beautiful...

A decimal...
I am a decimal; point blank, rounded, in between...
its never easy, but with my point blank nature...

Hopeful...
for so much, to recover from a broken-heart...
recover...
learning to hope, believing in hope, loving in hope, living with hope...
Hope in JESUS, hope of HIS soon return, of love of a man...
so yes, i am hopeful for tomorrow, even sooner even today...

So i silently watch the sky above,
the moon orbiting the earth, the earth orbiting the sun...
I look at the stars shining in splendor...
Knowing that my JESUS spoke and they shone...



A delicate lily,
lone standing on a beach...
I am always forgotten, always passed...
my heart is always broken but the colors have stuck...
so I hope for a heart to be fixed, for JESUS to give me grace...
so I'll hope...

for I know Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't lie...

Silently staring...*

We are making a mark!!!*

She is; beautiful....*

She is GOD's creation, HIS pride and joy...

She is GOD's created perfection...

She is beautiful, even though most times she hates who stares at her in every reflection...

She is found, even though most times she feel so lost...

She can see, though she wears blinds to cover the reality...

She is focused, probably on things that sometimes really don't need focus...

She is playful, with many things even herself...

She is finding the way, probably looking in the wrong place for the right directions but at least she's not stopped looking for the directions...

She is fulfilled; not with the right things, but she is searching for the right fulfillment all in all...

She is patient; probably with things that will happen really soon, but she is learning patience with herself and love too...

She loves; its hard to love, when you really have been hurt by it, but GOD said don't stop loving, HE never stopped even though HE was hurt...so she is trying to live by love's principle...

She is alone; only in her mind, when she forgets that distance is just but miles, the heart will have no clue of the miles like the eyes...

She is wild; she knows that she is untamed but only because she is looking for something that makes it all worthwhile, something that will last...

She is cautious; with who she trusts but accommodating once she does, but you break her trust and she will never trust you again...

She is precious; to me, because i love her, she's not perfect to me but she cares...

She is a friend; for i know that she worries about me, close to me as a sister....

She is flawed; not in the way everyone thinks, but rather the fact that she loves hard and breaks harder, she cares too much for others and not enough for her, she takes a lot in and lets little out...

She is silent; about real pain, crushing pain, and i worry its eating away at her beautiful self...

She is delicate; not because she is a lady, but because she has a heart of gold, encased in diamond...

She is indifferent; to attitude that doesn't please her, people who don't take her seriously...

She is polite; to elders...

She is extraordinary; when she believes she can, when she does what she knows she can. The right kind of can...

She is remarkable; in her element, she shines so bright...

She is intelligent; when you listen to the analytical mind that speaks....

She is intimidated; when you don't believe she can...

She is pressured; to live by worldly standards when she wants to live by her own, they may be a bit twisted but she is still searching for that standard that fulfills her...

She is judged; by those who don't take time to see her depth and beauty like i do.

She is trustworthy; for my secrets are vaulted in her memory...

She is true; to her word and at times to herself., we all have moments of epiphany...

She is searching; for a meaning to everything, and GOD will help her find it. That i do not doubt...

She is linguistic; i mean 4 languages is no easy feet... :)

She is; so much more than meets the eye, all what i cannot begin to describe and explain. Learning her takes time but is worth the time...for see she is beauty undiscovered, fragile but graceful, like porcelain she is delicate but still like titanium, floats through so much drama unscathed even though sometimes she threatens to sink, she looks up and sees the few strong hands holding her up and the fervent prayers keeping her afloat...

Mother's joy, GOD's child, Daddy's girl, sister's pillar, friend's sister, my *blo.ndi.e*

She is; Nyamambia Nyaribo....

She is; beautiful....*

We are making a mark!!!*

...Renewed..*

Silently we cry, we sit in corners and shed tears...

GOD watches over us so relentlessly, calling out to us in our pain to see HIS outstretched arms of love...

GOD patiently waits for us to see HIS loving grace and abounding love in our lives, even through the most miserable of times when you feel as though everything is crashing down on your head, JESUS is telling you "take up MY yoke, for MY burden is easy and MY yoke light."

JESUS is calling out to you telling you "I will give you peace that surpasses understanding," all we have to do is just trust in HIM..

so in my corner of tears...i will trust the JESUS for even through my struggles i find peace in THY loving arms...for i know that YOU uphold me with THY righteous right hand... JESUS i am your child, i will not be cast away and left...for Psalms 91 assures me i am protected, Philippians 4:6,7 reminds me of peace YOU promised, Psalms 31:24 still keeps my mind set on you...knowing that Psalms 37:4 will come to pass...but most of all LORD, Luke 24:46-48 proves JESUS is alive and keeping me in HIS hands...

and JESUS is coming back to take me home...

So in my sadness i will rejoice for soon my mourning shall turn into joy for JESUS said so..."great is GOD's faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies i will see...as thou hast been LORD, THOU forever wilt be.."

Rainbow mercies...*

We are making a mark!!!*