CrysTal....*

Beauty in small quantities....a mothers joy..a journey.....!!!*

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She carried me 9months....she cried for me....with me....because of me...

I thank GOD for her...because i know i am blessed.....

Mummy...I love you so much......

But I know You love me....so much more than i know...

I have let you down many times but i know that now i can change....

i can be the daughter you want me to be...the GOD fearing child that you intended.....

When people tell me i look like my mother..i will not sneer or be embarrased because then i know they are telling me..one day you will be like the woman who gave birth to you....you are a copyright of love, patience, kindness, peace, patience and humility....

I love you mum.....even though i sometimes hurt you...forgive m3.....



We are making a mark!!!*

Time for me to love her......*

We are making a mark!!!*

Pixie Lott - Broken Arrow

We are making a mark!!!*

thoughtS......*

all alone with my thoughts..minutes  pass and am wondering what i did to get here....

another moment, another thought and back to square one....

repetition is my new best friend.....cracks are beginning to show the foundation a haze....the place a maze....bits of this bits of that....

what sucks is the fact that even when we are together the excuses are so flimsy...i cant look at you in the eye anymore coz i cant let you see...

too much turmoil n no peace..the actual pain is more than i let on..but you cant know......

no one takes time to read my unspoken thoughts...and i don't even say much..i don't structure or eloquently deliver these thoughts..they just pour out...

my thoughts are not sequential or purpose driven most times they are of no matter...but they still need an escape right.....i don't know how to speak...i never learnt to...i don't know how not to write down my thoughts because thats the only way i know how to express myself...

but hey...everything comes with compromise...so all shut my mouth....keep my thoughts where they are made....let them turn into monsters...let them relish the prison...

i hate nightmares.....i hate being afraid.....

*nIghTmaReS.....

We are making a mark!!!*

pleA...*

CHRIST...loves me.....filling my cup it runs over...

I need a break...just peace of mind.....just an ounce of free space....

I don't wanna run mad......but its getting to that point

I'm tired of flipping through up and down phases......

I'm tired of the lines carving traces of my tears....

I'm tired of the potent real dream fears.....

I'm tired of my thought process because its detrimental to my health....

I'm tired of being of being tired....

its making me suffer and the sickness and poor health...

I wanna live......

LORD don't pass me by.....because I'm tired of being another case that can be handled later

am tired of constantly looking crazy and wanting numbness......CHRIST i believe.....just don't let me go.......

Saviour how else can I plea.....

Prayer....i try but sin has drifted me far from YOU...but i am returned by YOUR everlasting grace....

HEAL me LORD....Saviour, Healer and friend...

Romans 8:23.....Jeremiah 29:11,12 n 13.....

MentAl tUrmoil...

We are making a mark!!!*

....FORgiveNEss.....

Dear Father,

CREATOR.....Magnified...LORD over all the earth....porter.....JESUS......

GOD in heaven i know i have not kept the laws.....

Father i know i have sinned beyond repair...i know that i have not fully believed... i know that  i have asked for forgiveness and still gone back...i know i have taken for granted things that you give.... i know that i have not been the example for you i set out to be....

Father...as i right this i pray for cleansing...i pray Father that you may wash and wipe my iniquities clean....


that YOU may revive my heart...that YOU may give me the strength and passion to fight for YOU...that YOU may create a new heart in me.....clean my mind and set me free...Im tired of living this life like this....Father.....hear my cry...

I'm just a sinner and i don't deserve any love YOU have shown me...but JESUS never died in vain....HE died that i may live...eternally....HE died that i may see the kingdom...that i may meet YOU.....Father...i right this...my heart is not okay...i have sinned and i come to YOU....praying with every letter that YOU may forgive me....take away the selfishness....create me anew.....

Take away my fear.....replace it with calm and peace.....Author and finisher of my faith....i know i have drifted far away....but JESUS hold me close...

Show me YOUR true grace JESUS......

IN JESUS name i CRY and PRAY....

AMEN....*

*PEACE....MY PRAYER.....*

We are making a mark!!!*