....bRokeN cOrpse....*

A point where you give up....where you realize that you dont know how to stop yourself from going back....am begging for strength from GOD above....i need to get me back in order....

But you keep moving away....when i need you to love me...when i need me to love me i cant...i just need a razor...to make the caligraphy on my hands alittle darker....

I need to write the story...on my hands...on my body....coz i cant speak or cry it out....so i can only cut it into my body and hope its never seen....hope for the best....hope i dont die from a half hearted death wish....

Hope that my misery doesnt overtake the smile...hope that the resolve doesnt crack the already broken seams....

Release

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...crystaL

Proud aunty

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CrysTal....*

Beauty in small quantities....a mothers joy..a journey.....!!!*

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She carried me 9months....she cried for me....with me....because of me...

I thank GOD for her...because i know i am blessed.....

Mummy...I love you so much......

But I know You love me....so much more than i know...

I have let you down many times but i know that now i can change....

i can be the daughter you want me to be...the GOD fearing child that you intended.....

When people tell me i look like my mother..i will not sneer or be embarrased because then i know they are telling me..one day you will be like the woman who gave birth to you....you are a copyright of love, patience, kindness, peace, patience and humility....

I love you mum.....even though i sometimes hurt you...forgive m3.....



We are making a mark!!!*

Time for me to love her......*

We are making a mark!!!*

Pixie Lott - Broken Arrow

We are making a mark!!!*

thoughtS......*

all alone with my thoughts..minutes  pass and am wondering what i did to get here....

another moment, another thought and back to square one....

repetition is my new best friend.....cracks are beginning to show the foundation a haze....the place a maze....bits of this bits of that....

what sucks is the fact that even when we are together the excuses are so flimsy...i cant look at you in the eye anymore coz i cant let you see...

too much turmoil n no peace..the actual pain is more than i let on..but you cant know......

no one takes time to read my unspoken thoughts...and i don't even say much..i don't structure or eloquently deliver these thoughts..they just pour out...

my thoughts are not sequential or purpose driven most times they are of no matter...but they still need an escape right.....i don't know how to speak...i never learnt to...i don't know how not to write down my thoughts because thats the only way i know how to express myself...

but hey...everything comes with compromise...so all shut my mouth....keep my thoughts where they are made....let them turn into monsters...let them relish the prison...

i hate nightmares.....i hate being afraid.....

*nIghTmaReS.....

We are making a mark!!!*