TwIce remOved*

Are you still there???

CAn YOU see me....Can YOU hear me?

Can YOU stop me from picking up the knife one more time to write the love story of my hate on these hands.....LORD what am i to do....the calligraphy is getting darker again...and no one can know....how do i stop.....

Can YOU help me stop making incision after incision.....are these marks heal-able???

Am i repair-able??? fixable with just malleable tools or rigid rules???

Tell me how do i get my mind to stop the tape.....how do i stop the pieces GOD put together from falling apart again.....

Are there second chances??

Can I stop myself from picking the knife.....or picking the razor i held a bit to dear...to numb this pain......

from running my life again.....from making the smile appear and the frown drop to the text background.....

the knife that made friendships and breaks relationships...maintains my sphere of decency on the outside but torments the invisible child inside.......

CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT.......

BLEEDING just to know your sTIll ALIVe....*

*TO wRIte LoVe on her hanDs...*

another take of the same scene......*

We are making a mark!!!*

haPPend

it happened again...it was a moment of utter disarray.....mental incarceration.....

I put the blade to my skin and thought...just once and it will be okay...if am still alive then it will work out....

so its happened.....

CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT,,,,,,,

one cut is all it takes

We are making a mark!!!*

.....CraCked rEsolvE*

Sanity......please stay.....i need to maintain the peace...i cant crack the sphere.....i cant go into disarray....

I cant undo a chaotic resolve......spells of sunshine periods of darkness....i need light...

GOD save me....from my tormenting tumultuousness......insincere peace.......bloody tears falling from my hands...my cheeks have no tears...just stains....not visible pains...just silhouettes of past indecency.... 

when everything is a mess...my mind has lost all depth....am screaming out inside....so loud even in deafening silence.....no-one can hear.....

look....don't stop at the surface....see deep down...

see....in one day...all my disciplined will left...i relapsed....Its no longer a quest...its a cry for help...a cry for some relief....but i'm going insane stuck in my head........

the silence between us is getting louder...tooo loud....i don't wanna hear it anymore.....

suddenly...i've been expelled...relegated to last place in your heart......

bleeding for a part of me to remain alive.....

Put a stop.......don't pick the razor.......don't make the calligraphy of freedom and peace a little darker....don't......do it......don't loose you again....

CUT CUT CUT CUT...................

BLLLLOOOOODY TEEEEAAARS......!*

resolve

We are making a mark!!!*

....bRokeN cOrpse....*

A point where you give up....where you realize that you dont know how to stop yourself from going back....am begging for strength from GOD above....i need to get me back in order....

But you keep moving away....when i need you to love me...when i need me to love me i cant...i just need a razor...to make the caligraphy on my hands alittle darker....

I need to write the story...on my hands...on my body....coz i cant speak or cry it out....so i can only cut it into my body and hope its never seen....hope for the best....hope i dont die from a half hearted death wish....

Hope that my misery doesnt overtake the smile...hope that the resolve doesnt crack the already broken seams....

Release

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...crystaL

Proud aunty

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CrysTal....*

Beauty in small quantities....a mothers joy..a journey.....!!!*

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