.........*Scars*........

A memoir of all the played fantasies in my head are running past rapidly. i know that time is supposed to be the magical healer of all wounds, but how many wounds have been healed by time??? we are fragile material, so strong with outward appearance but the weakest people if someone dared look inside.

Scars line the archives of these walls, not pretty scars but scars that were and are supposed to make me stronger. scars that barely graze a surface deeply untouched.... people always say that, when you fall down, your only supposed to get up, dust yourself and keep moving.... how bout when you fall in a manhole, what happens next?? how many times do you have to try to get up and dust yourself before you realize your stuck?

I built a fortress that cannot be easily penetrated by anyone around this fragmenting heart, but it was just a fictitious way to calm my heart and lie to my mind...... those walls were torn apart and someone needs to put the pieces back together before they fall apart again.

The scars are all there, more so on the inside hidden, but there are outward ones as well. Hidden from the naked eye, these scars and wounds have only been opened with time. None has been shut. So i want to leave these scars as a reminder of the "good ol' days"......

All these tiny places and pieces have a story to sing. A story so deep and so painful they can barely be uttered........ Scars not pertaining to beauty, rather; remorse, pain, hate and so much more......

Someday these scars will shine or maybe the pure exstacy that comes from reopening the pain and dripping crimson red blood will catch up to me....

Maybe one day the cut will be so deep that all the blood drains from me. Maybe one day the bottles will all be empty from the medicine cabinet because I needed to sleep....  

Maybe this phenomenon that everyone seems to know but me will finally make sense, or drive me away.....


                                     A million unsaid thoughts,
                                         a million unfelt feelings,
                                            a million unspoken lies,
                                               a million mysteries about me,

                                                 a million tears, a million scars, a million cuts, a million droplets
                                                                       of pure scarlet crimson........

We are making a mark!!!